My review of American Psycho (Book not film):

Before I start this review, let me say that if you plan on reading this book, make sure you can stomach the extremely vivid depictions of incredibly brutal sexual violence. While it is important to look past the violence and see what it represents in the bigger picture, it is VERY graphic. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Now, American Psycho is an excellent book. Right up there in the pantheon of great American fiction with the Great Gatsby (while they are very different in both style and content, they both capture the essence of an era of moral and material excess brilliantly). The book is primarily a critique of the endless, maddening consumption of modern America and, especially, that era that represented the peak of our decadence, the 1980's. Our protagonist, 27 year old, Patrick Bateman (a Wall street exec.) becomes the avatar of yuppie excess and depravity. At first, during the first third of the book, Bateman indulges heavily in drugs, sex and booze (Not saintly behaviour but hardly shocking. It is set in the 80's after all...) and describes in exhaustive detail his various designer products and beauty routine. Boredom is used as a literary device to frame the shocking bursts of horrendous activity still to come.

In the second third, we are taken to the next stage of consumption. Murder. When you have consumed every product on the market, all that is left is to consume life itself. It is the only escape from the mundanity of life (and the inevitably of aging and death). Bateman begins to violently torture and murder everyone from hookers to tramps to co-workers.

In the final third, we gain an insight into the motivation behind such actions as Bateman begins to truly lose his mind (at one point he believes a cheerio is being interviewed on TV). Bateman's crimes reach new, shocking levels of vilence. The acts are described in such detail that they become as mind-numbing as the descriptions of designer clothes, showing us how even the extreme depths of human behaviour can become nothing more than a hollow, futile gesture against the vast nothingness of life. Bateman's life is an endless chasm and he knows it. It pains him how even with his wealth and beauty, his life is worth nothing and, in his own words, he seeks to inflict his pain on everyone. To him this is the only way to impose some meaning on his life. However, like everything else, this meaning is only superficial. It changes nothing.

To conclude, this book is a stunning insight into the dangers of consumerism and a still-relevant warning of how shallow said consumerism is. Unless we try to find something deeper in our lives than items and possessions, our world will descend into madness and depravity. A world of Batemans. If you read this book, do one thing. Heed that warning.

Lyraical Abortions Pt.3

Here's a song kind of based upon the old archetypal myth of the Vampiric siren, The Countess Bathory figure, stealing the life essence of those men who seek her to prolong her own unnatural life. So, a lovely, dark, gothic horror tale!

Upon night’s descent

I stole away

To see her beauty

To glimpse her face

Legends spoke

Of her countenance

Her milky skin

Her silken tress

Oh my Lady, I bow to thee

Thy love I crave

Thy great beauty

Oh my Lady, I dream of thee

On fevered nights

In reverie

Long I sought her

Desperately

With haunted thoughts

She burned in me

Of “The cruel siren”

I was told tales

Warned to desist

Lest I fall prey

The Siren called to me

In my dreaming mind

“Find me, my dearest”

She spoke to me

“And I will pledge my love to thee”

Years have passed in ceaseless search

Yet the siren still eludes me

At last I found her

Waiting for me

“thy life is mine

To satiate me”

Her terrible face

Gorgeous, cold

I will never forget

It haunts my soul

That day I died

Killed by the Siren’s darkened love

She stole my life

To prolong her own

Fed upon the souls

Of those who sought her hand

Immortal rites

Forever slaying…

Methodical destruction...

Came up with a new bass excersise today (or accidentally came across a pre-existing one) and I thought I'd write it down here, if only to allow myself to remember it!
First you play the ascending half of a scale (minor, major, Dorian, whatever) starting on fret 3 or 5 according to personal comfort. Play this same ascending part of the scale moving up 2 frets each time.  After doing this, play the descending  half of the scale moving back towards where you started in the same way.
Once you have done this and feel comfortable playing it with different speeds and patterns (triplets, sixteenths etc.), reverse it! Play the descending half starting at where you began and after moving up the fretboard 4 times, play the ascending half moving back up. It's a cool, surprisingly taxing workout, good for improving your concentration, rhythm, speed and fretboard fluency. Well, wrote that in a pretty rambling style but at least it (kind of) makes sense to me! =D

Assorted thoughts:

Sooo, not written anything in a while! Nothing really mind-blowing to put down (because, clearly, my other posts are utterly mind-rapingly incredible and will be the basis of a future religion centred around the Goddess Katy Perry and her prophet, Thomas! Ahem...) so just going to write some musings from my lovely, misshapen head...

Well for one thing, Winter is a comin'! (Yep, I'm gonna talk about the weather, Britishness ftw!) I absolutely love Autumn and Winter, everytime we get to this time of year I feel as if there's magic in the air and in my veins and as if anything is possible. I think these feelings are partly just inspired by the beauty of this period in the year. Especially in lovely Scotland! Show me a more beautiful sight than the Scottish country in the winter and you'll have discovered a gateway to the magical land of Narnia! Then there's the cold... I love the cold... To most people it's uncomfortable, and reminds them of winter as a bringer of death: the dying leaves etc. I view it differently. The cold comes and banishes the scorching heat of the summertime...
So yeah, very excited about the coming winter! I feel this great romanticism and magic surrounding the period, which is pretty special considering I'm a cynical, atheist bastard!

Another thing on my mind (and everybody's!) is money, or as I like to style it, "moneh." Ironic isn't it, that now that I'm at uni with a decent income I have far more money woes! Money brings with it obligations and responsibilities; rent (for your parents if you live with them still), food, christmas presents for others, nights out etc. It's good though as it's forcing me to re-evaluate my frivolous attitude towards to moneh...

Well, that's it I guess... Have many other thoughts I could write but I'm too tired to sort through them and turn them into some kind of readable passage... Laters!

Beautiful speech:

Just wanted to post this speech by Mario Savio:
"There comes a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part, you can't even passively take part; and you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop, And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, the people who own it, that unless you're free the machine will be prevented from working at all."
A beautiful piece of oratory...

Lyrical abortions Pt.2

Another lyric for y'all to read. Tentatively titled "The death of everything" but that may change. Enjoy!

I once saw the light of creation

It shone alone in you
I wish I could stay there forever
But such things always end
I once felt the touch of an angel
Consecrating the love in me
I long to feel that touch again
But the hand is withdrawn
And Love lies defiled


The Good has left this place
Remembrance, all that’s left
Walk these empty halls
I haunt these rooms, bereft

Grotesque conceptions raped my soul
And left it dying alone in the night

No reconciliation comes
With the golden light
That time is gone forever
It gave up hope, took flight

I once saw the heart of heaven
Within the face of my love
Still I dream of its glory
Yet dreams are all that remain
I once heard the song of rapture
Issue from their mouths
Yet my brothers now lay silent
And my sisters sing no more
I am alone

My truths have been revealed as lies
And I am naked before this cruel reality

Flights of maimed crows above me
As emptiness descends
Ever the bearer of misery
Even sorrow departs

I pray for love’s return…

Writing music and other assorted travesties...

Just wanted to say something about how I write a choon cuz I guess it's pretty unorthodox. Most people (that I know of) start with a guitar riff, then write a bass part, then work out drum patterns then finally comes the frilly stuff like keyboards and lyrics. I ALWAYS start off with lyrics. I'll write lyrics that have a nice flow when spoken (but no vocal patterns at all as there's no music). After that I'll set up a metronome, usually 4/4 at around 170 Bpm or 3/4 at around 70-80 Bpm and use the metronome as a guide while I try and come up with some bass stuff. If I write something nice on bass I'll try (badly) to think of cool guitars to go over it. After that I'll think of some VERY basic drum patterns and finally I try to jimmy the lyrics into fitting the rhythm and mood of the music. Kinda makes it harder on myself but meh...

Lyrical abortions Pt.1

Just thought I'd post up some lyrics I wrote for a song called "Lover's Facade." They are pretty dark and personal I guess but I'd love some feedback. I like these lyrics as they are among the simplest, most personal and honest things I've put to paper! Just imagine the music for this to be slow, slightly discordant and gentle in a sinister and evil way. So anyway, yeah, please have a read and give your honest opinion! =D

Welcome home

Time has not changed you
(Whilst I died)
So fine and mine
You’ll ever be
(My pain I shall give you)

Sleep now, my dear
I am here
(I’m your greatest nightmare)
I still love you
Still dream of you
(I’ll never forgive you)

We shall be eternal
Evergreen in heaven’s light
(And let the angels curse you)
Let us dance
Among the stars of gods
(And let them fucking burn you)

Scott Pilgrim Vs. Me!

Well, where to begin? I'm going to start by making my feelings on this movie clear. "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World" is truly the most awful film in the history of cinema. Seriously this offends me more than Nazi Propaganda film "The Triumph of the Will." At least that had some interesting camera angles and what-not.




There were several things that annoyed the hell out of me with this film. First was the utter lack of any kind of humour at all, despite the fact that this is a "comedy" film. All the "characters" (that are taken straight from "The Big Book of Cool Teen cliche", but more on that later) think they're being funny by standing around referencing video-games and saying "awesome" a lot.



Next on the list was the way in which the movie was obviously cynically concieved to appeal to what 40 year old marketing execs think of as the "Trendy, late teens/early 20s" market. "Ooh, we play video games, we have funky haircuts, we are all 'nerdy', we have entire outfits from 'hot topic', we all play in indie bands that are self-referential in a totally ironic way!!! AWESOME!!!" And before you call me a miserly old geezer, I am an 18 year old, rock and metal loving, nerd. The "geek-chic" references are THAT irritating and obvious...



Another thing that irritated me about this movie was the fact that Michael Cera, a fine comic actor, has lent his name to this hard-hearted, cynical attempt to squeeze yet more money from the oh-so-ironic indie kid generation.



To summarise, I highly recommend that you don't see this film! For the price of the movie ticket, you could have a couple of pints with mates. This was the first film I have ever walked out of and I went to see Valkyrie!!!

Deutschland, ich liebe dich!

Been studying German a fair bit lately. I really love Europe and European language and culture but German is just... I dunno, just seems to be such a wonderful culutre and the language is very beautiful I think. I was actually thinking that if, for whatever reason, I can't pursue a degree in history, it'd be really cool to do a German degree! What could be better than learning about my favourite language and culture! I know it seems strange to say so having never been there (indeed, having never actually been abroad!) but I feel an affinity with Germany very deeply!
I'd actually love so much to end up emigrating to Germany, especially Berlin. There's so much to love about that city: The history, the art, the great melting pot of cultutres, the lingering dfferences between East and West. Also, Berlin seems to be a centre for a modern, liberal zeitgeist. The Paris of central Europe.
The best part is, emigrating to Germany doesn't seem too expensive! A decent sized flat in Berlin only costs about £25,000 to BUY! That's mental!
I really do wish people would stop attatching all these cartoonish stereotypes to Germany: a nation of sausage-eating, beer-drinkng Nazis. From what little I have learned of German culure, it is a vibrant, modern, wonderrful one, easily capable of standing shoulder to shoulder with any other country. Give Germany a chance and you may fall in love with it just as I have!

"I'm a personality-ness, moronic leech! LOL!!!"

So  I watched "Young, Dumb and living off mum" yesterday... That was a fun experience! For any of you who don't know, the premise of the show is to take a bunch of idiotic, spoiled cunts, sorry, precious little darlings, and take them away from Mummy and Daddy, making them live off the dole like many unemployed 20-something's and setting them a bunch of challenges to try and teach them to be adults.

The premise, I have no problem with, sounds alright innit? But the people... Christ I'm actually shuddering in horror at the mere thought... As I caught on quite late there are only a few left (one is sent home every week) and they are, honestly, the most disgusting, vile creatures I've ever seen. Like, I'd actually rather be fucked by a gorilla then hang out with Hitler than talk to these people. One of them, Levi (my personal least favourite), actually still gets baths from is mother at age 20. Yes. I'll allow you to absorb that information for a minute... Done? Good. Another one, Iman, daughter of a rich businessman, pretended to her parents tat she was going to college for 5 months (she failed her all her exams) just to get the train fares off her dad so she could have nights out with it.

These wankers, sorry, sweet ickle babies, have had every whim indulged for so long they have literally no sense of how the world works. Democracy, something people have fought and died for, proved a bit much for Iman who shrugged and said "I dunno what democracy is, yeah?" Also, when showed a pictures of the house of commons she asked "Is this where the pope goes?" They have no sense of duty or pride and no sense of work. One baby faced little pile of arse gravy moaned after one day's work "but why do people wanna work?" I nearly cried... Your personality is shaped through experience of the world and through work and adversity, meaning these people have zero personality beyond consumption. One should have a catch-phrase; "I'm a personality-less, moronic leech! LOL!!!" Catchy, isn't it?

The parents though are the worst of the bunch. Obviously it's their fault their kids are like this as they just kept indulging them, like Britain indulges America (Ooh, satirical. Yeeeah...). When showed videos of their kids, instead of all agreeing that every single child is horrible, they often just argue that their child was the best and the other ones were the bad ones. They're all just as bad as each other!!! They're all so afraid to treat their kids like adults and not babies. I expect that when they go home (the parents), they build a little shrine to their child and start rubbing their kid's baby clothes all over themselves moaning "Ah, fuck yeah..."
Don't quote me on that though...

Anyway, this show is fairly entertaining, yeah, but if you're a cynical bastard like me, you'll watch it and be quietly weeping on the sofa at the obviously doomed future of our world and at the way society is now that it could create such evil freaks in the first place.

PS. Good idea for spin off show: we follow the kids 60 years in the future and call the show "Old, incontinent and living off the kids."

Words From The Exit Wound... (Democracy?)

Been thinking a lot about politics (and becoming increasingly pissed off with the state of politics in Britain). There are many things about British politics that need to be questioned. To me, the biggest of these problems is the lack of a proper voting system. We still use an archaic system from a time period where the main political power resided with the un-elected house of Lords, namely, First Past the Post (FPP).

 The coalition government talk (incessantly) of the "new politics" they are bringing to Britain (something that seems to happen every election) yet they are reluctant to bring about a full-scale shift from the centuries-old voting system to a modern Proportionally representative system, instead opting to (possibly) change it to the Alternative vote system, which would actually make near enough no change to election results! Because of our unwillingness to follow our European comrades and adopt a more modern way of doing things, we are essentially stuck with a 3 party system that favours two parties over all. The worst part is, these parties are increasingly adopting the same views on all issues (a shameless attempt to increase votes by basically adopting the views of the Sun readership). Because of this, many views in the country are not represented (such as my personal Social-Democratic views.)

 People say this is good, we will have no extremist politicians and a more stable government. I say, look at germany (or any other modern european democracy). Despite still having extremist voters, none of these are represented in parliament, while a wide range of views are still taken on board (from socialist to liberal to conservative and several inbetween) and very stable government.

What I'm getting at is that we need to push for Proportional Representation if only to allow ourselves to continue to be called a democracy! Surely it is better for everyone to have a say in the country rather than the 35% - odds who vote for winning parties currently being the leaders of the 65%?

There's no such things as religions...

I read an interesting article in which Richard Dawkins attacks faith schools as "child abuse" and it got me thinking about my own attitude towards religion. It must be noted that I used to dislike Dawkins for his zealous, evangelical atheism and adopted a "live-and-let-live" view towards religion but in the past few years, I have placed myself squarely in the camp of actively deriding religion and attacking it (through verbal action, of course. I wouldn't be a very good pacifist if I physically assaulted religious people!).

There were always two major problems for me: The lack of any evidence whatsoever to suggest any kind of divine existence (and the way that people say that "faith is all about believing against all odds. Sounds a lot like self-inflicted ignorance to me!) and the utter hypocrisy of religion. A good example I always use of religious hypocrisy is the story of Judas. Judas is presented as a villain for his role in the death of Christ. However, if God planned the death of Jesus all along, surely Judas should be revered as an instrument of God's will and responsible for bringing his plan to fruition? This can be set in a wider Biblical context too: The church and religious-affiliated schools always place emphasis on the idea that we humans were created with free will and that God cannot influence our thoughts and emotions. However, God is also said to be omnipotent and have a "plan" for us all. How can it fit together that we have control over our own lives yet God has already planned the route of our destinies before we were born? The idea that humans have free will from God was probably just invented to explain away why some perfectly agreeable people chose not to follow the Christian faith.

On the subject of faith schools, I have nothing positive to say about them. Having gone to Catholic school myself, it scared and confused me as a young child, learning that if we sinned we would be terribly punished yet God was supposedly benevolent? I tried desperately, in the wake of my own realisation of religion's absurdity, to cling onto the beliefs drilled into me at school right up until age 12. It was through fear that I did this. Fear that I would go to hell for not believing. Faith schools propagate terror to children.
As well as this, they actively promote ignorance if it aids their religious cause. When we learned about the creation of the world in primary school, we were taught that God made everything and that the world was "designed" by his hand. When a student said they had been told that the world was made by a "Big Bang," the teacher dismissively said "well God did that."

I guess this point of this post comes down to this. Do we want to live in a world where science, reason and tolerance are buried underneath mysticism, propaganda and ignorance in the minds of the religious? Or do we want to live in a world where the shackles are torn from their minds and we all think for ourselves?

List-y pHUnZ00rS lmao!!!

Probably my 10 favourite albums ever, whaddya think:

Rammstein: Reise, Reise 
I'm sorry but this album is just the most genius thing to come from my favourite band ever. How can anyone not listen to the opening title track and not be transported to storm-blasted fishing boat in violent seas. It's mind bogglingly epic! And Stein Um Stein feels, to me, like some violent catharsis (musically that is, the lyrics are pretty creepy but hardly cathartic).

Best Track: "Stein Um Stein"

My Dying Bride: A Line Of Deathless Kings
Love this album so much... It's so gloomy and melancholy and it just ozzes darkness. You can practically smell the wine and warm summer air during "L'amour detruit..."

Best Track: "Thy Raven Wings"

Opeth: Blackwater Park
Got to have Opeth in here. Mikael Akerfeldt is a genius. Like, properly. Listen to it. LISTEN TO IIIIT!!!

Best track: "The Leper Affinity"

Metallica: Metallica

I know a lot of people think this is too "commercial" but this album is soooo heavy! "The God That Failed" has the most brutish riffing of anything recorded by the Big 4 and "The Unforgiven" is an awesome slice of mellow, spaghetti western influenced prog.

Best Track: Hard to choose but... "The Unforgiven"

Slipknot: Iowa
Ah, the album that got me into extreme metal. Mock Slipknot all you will but they were pretty damned extreme considering most kids were listening to Blink 182 and shit. Before I heard this I only listened to Metallica and Guns 'N' Roses! The whole album has this weird, unhinged, bug-eyed intensity that I love!

Best Track: "Left Behind"

Katatonia: The Great Cold Distance
Katatonia are really cool. Dunno if you would even describe them as "metal..." More "Dark Rock." They really create this atmosphere of frailty, despair and futility which I love in music! That's why I love doom metal so much! The lyrics on this album are awesome and worth the price alone...

Best Track: "In the White"

Enslaved: RUUN
Enslaved are a really special band. They move beyond black metal's irritating, pouting and cartoonish "Nihilism" or "Satanism" and create music that transcends genre and becomes an almost spiritual experience. RUUN has amazing examples of this such as "Essence" and "Entroper."

Best Track: "Essence"

Stevie Ray Vaughan: Texas Flood
The Blues is easily one of my favourite styles of music. SRV is my favourite blues guitarist ever, took what Buddy Guy had done and just went crazy with it. SRV was the first music I ever remember hearing and watching his videotapes is my first memory!

Best Track: "Dirty Pool"

Alice In chains: Black Gives Way To Blue
This was actually the first AIC album I bought, which was good as I had no Layne Staley-influenced prejudice towards William Duval and Jerry Cantrell (who actually does lead vocals for most of the album). Anyone who lets that prejudice overcome them is missing out on an album of classy, emotionally powerful hard rock.

Best Track: "Black Gives Way To Blue"

Anathema: Judgement
Actually only got this recently! But even in the short time I've owned it, this album has really moved me and made me just fall in love with it (and Anathema generally). This album still carries a metallic edge and is full of heart-breakingly emotive vocals and deep, brooding and surprisingly blues-y guitars. Stunning...

Best Track: "Deep"

Musings...

Well, my first post! Ain't this cool!?! Been playing looots of bass lately (well, compared to the hour every day I usually do, I'm not one of those weird obsessive people who practice for like 28 hours a day. God I envy them...)  But I seem to be slowly un-learning the instrument as I practice. Trying to play "A Forest" by The Cure, a super easy song and it's like GRRRUNNNCCCHHKKSSCHAAALZZZ.... I blame my bass... To be fair though, while it is my fault, my bass (a Seymour Duncan 5-string) is shiiiit. If I get into college this year (for a Social Sciences HNC) I'm just gonna blow my loan on THIIIIIISSSS:

It shall have Grimm tone!!! (See, wee word-play! Pfnaaar...)
Not written any lyrics in a while but the last ones I wrote were pretty good so that makes up for it!
Well gna wrap up this post now... Been fun, ain't it!